When I initially had this experience during a ‘guided’ meditation earlier this week, I was not going to share it, but now I feel that maybe I should.
I cast a circle with the intention of connecting to Source – that was all. I didn’t have any other intentions except that I wanted to connect with The Infinite Creative Source that sustains all life.
I went about preparing the sacred space by laying out my instruments (Wand/ Patchouli incense in the East quadrant (Air); Athame/green taper candle in the North quadrant (Fire); Chalice and cauldron in the West quadrant (Water); Copper Pentacle/vase with snowdrops in it in the South (Earth) and my dragon in the middle of the ‘circle’ to represent Spirit/Me.
I started the meditation by doing a powerful breathing exercise (breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts and hold for 4 counts) I did 32 repetitions of this breathing meditation until I was completely relaxed and focused.
I saw myself sitting under a tree – a huge/ancient tree with awesome, gnarly roots going down deep into the ground and majestic, strong branches going up high into the sky.
I was leaning/resting against the tree and then felt/imagined my own roots going down into the earth and tapping into the roots of the Tree – joining with them. I felt myself being absorbed into the tree and becoming One with it. I asked the tree who she is and she said that she is the Tree of Life. I looked out of the ‘eyes’ of the tree and saw that I was not alone. There were more trees (about 8 including me) and we were in a circle, holding hands and dancing. The dancing turned into a swirling, spiralling dance and we travelled through time and space.
Artist Igor Zenin
When I opened my eyes, I saw that we (the 8 trees) were on a hill/mound and that the spiral, swirling smoke was now coming from a fire in the centre of the mound that we were encircling. The experience was incredibly erotic and sexually charged (?)
I was looking out of the tree and into the fire. I then stepped out of the tree and was dressed in a beautiful white tunic with a garland of white roses on my head. I felt as if I was embodying the Goddess and was wondering if this was Beltane or something – I wasn’t sure – just hugely aroused!? I was wondering if I would be joined by an ‘outside’ Divine Masculine in the form of Pan/Horned God and that we may join in the Heiros Gamos/Sacred Marriage during this meditation.
I waited a while, but it was just me, the other trees and the fire. The fire seemed to symbolise purity, cleansing, illumination and transformation. As I was pondering all of this the words ‘I am a Virgin and belong to no man’ came to me. I understand ‘virgin’ to mean complete and whole in oneself and not needing another to complete or fulfil or satisfy. I also realised that within me is the perfect balance of Sacred Feminine and Divine Masculine and that I didn’t need a ‘partner’ to act out the Sacred/Divine Union of the two as I was embodying them both within me anyway!
“Ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man – a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’. The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill; and was later applied to men: virile. Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all called virgin, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence. And all great culture heroes of the past…, mythic or historic, were said to be born of virgin mothers: Marduk, Gilgamesh, Buddha, Osiris, Dionysus, Genghis Khan, Jesus – they were all affirmed as sons of the Great Mother, of the Original One, their worldly power deriving from her. When the Hebrews used the word, and in the original Aramaic, it meant ‘maiden’ or ‘young woman’, with no connotations to sexual chastity. But later Christian translators could not conceive of the ‘Virgin Mary’ as a woman of independent sexuality, needless to say; they distorted the meaning into sexually pure, chaste, never touched. When Joan of Arc, with her witch coven associations, was called La Pucelle – ‘the Maiden,’ ‘the Virgin’ – the word retained some of its original pagan sense of a strong and independent woman. The Moon Goddess was worshipped in orgiastic rites, being the divinity of matriarchal women free to take as many lovers as they choose. Women could ‘surrender’ themselves to the Goddess by making love to a stranger in her temple.”
Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother – Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth
Mayday Goddess by Angie Lotham
After a while, I saw myself going back to the tree and becoming one with it again. I then retraced my steps until I was sitting back leaning against the tree where I had started the ‘guided’ meditation. I call this a guided meditation in the sense that I feel I was being guided/led by my intuition or connection to the Divine. It was spontaneous and unfolded as I went along, rather than planned. The whole experience was erotic, empowering and orgasmic 😉
Peace, Love & Light