Tag Archives: cheating on your partner

IS THIS LOVE?

This is definitely one of the toughest posts that I have written but I believe that we need to start speaking more openly about the subject of infidelity. I really love my sisters and don’t want to stand in judgement of anyone but at the same time I feel that I need to speak out, so please find it in your heart to forgive me if I offend you in any way – it is not my intention.  My intention is to encourage each other to treat others the way we would like to be treated.  

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I am directing these words to the ‘Sisterhood’ although the principle applies to ALL PEOPLE – male and female.
Sisters, it’s time for us to be mature and start taking responsibility for our behaviour.
It is time to choose how we react/behave when faced with certain emotions/feelings with regards to other women’s partners.
Let’s choose to honour and respect each other by not ‘stealing’ another woman’s partner away from her.

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I am always fascinated by how women try and justify their behaviour. “She doesn’t appreciate him”, “They don’t love each other anymore”, “They are only together for the children”, ‘They don’t have sex anymore”, “God/dess, the Universe wants us to be together”, “We’re soul mates” etc. etc. etc. Come on! We all know how to flirt, entice, seduce and play dirty by being manipulative and selfish – isn’t it time we choose not to? It’s time to put firmer boundaries in place so that we ‘don’t even go there’.

 We don’t start a flirtatious conversation with someone already in a relationship for example. I think most of us know the difference between being friendly as opposed to being overly friendly?

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Here are a couple questions to ask yourself?

  • How would I like it if my partner flirted with one of my friends or another person?
  • How would I feel if my friend/another woman overheard me speaking suggestively with her partner?
  • How would I feel if I heard my friend/another woman getting overly familiar with my partner?    

Too often we only realise that our boundaries have been crossed once it’s already happened. That is why it’s a good idea to know what your boundaries are before they can get crossed. One of my boundaries is ‘would I be having this conversation / sending this text message / arranging this meeting with …………… if my partner was with me?’
I know how intoxicating it feels to be desired by someone else’s partner – Hell, I’d say we’ve all experienced it at some stage or another. It’s tempting to give in to our ego and follow our selfish desires, especially if we’re feeling undervalued and unappreciated by our own partner BUT that does not make it okay.

If you’re unhappy in your current relationship either work on it or leave it but don’t cheat on your partner. Finish what you’ve started before moving onto ‘greener’ pastures. Remember Karma – what goes around, comes around. Is it worth messing around with bad Karma? Is it worth hurting a sister so that you can be happy? Is this really what love is all about? Love at the expense of someone else’s happiness? I don’t think so.

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I have been as guilty as the next person of crossing these boundaries – whether it’s having coffee with a friend while we justify all the reasons why it’s okay for her to have an affair with her neighbour’s husband or why it’s okay to go onto dating sites while still married. But I have also cried with friend’s whose partners have been unfaithful to them and have seen their pain and heartache. I did my fair share of cheating in my teens and 20’s and was on the receiving end of being cheated on too. But as my self esteem and confidence grew I outgrew destructive behaviour.
WHEN WE KNOW BETTER – WE DO BETTER
Love & Light
Laurene