My Beloved and I were having a conversation about the difference between Twin Flames and Soul Mates the other day, and our experience of both. He was very happily married to his Soul Mate for over 20 years, until she passed away after battling cancer. I was married to a very ‘patriarchal’, old-school kind of guy, whose love was very conditional. He had an aortic aneurism and passed away suddenly, leaving me widowed with two very young boys to look after. But that’s a story for another time.
Our conversation started after Andre fetched me from a Women’s Day event I’d been attending. As I was walking towards the car, I could feel his eyes drinking me in. I love it when he looks at me that way! I feel as if I am the only woman in the whole world in that moment. I feel so powerful, loved and vulnerable all at the same time. It is as if he can see directly into the core of my being and loves what he sees – unconditionally.
He described how he felt when I was walking towards him. He started by saying that he just felt ‘complete’, like Ah yes, (deep sigh of contentment) a part of him was coming back – even though he feels ‘complete’ within himself and doesn’t need me to ‘complete’ him – there is still a sense of home-coming, like a part of him has been away/missing and is now coming back. It’s like two complete parts that function absolutely perfectly away from each other but when they join together there is a dynamic other worldly connection that makes them transcend their previous state of completeness. It is difficult to try and put it into words – I wish I could describe it better.
From the moment that we met and got to know each other we just ‘clicked’. A couple of weeks into our friendship and we knew we were destined to be together. We felt as if we’d known each other all our lives – in fact we felt as if we’d known each other forever.
The beauty of sharing my life with my twin flame is that I can share anything with him and know that it’s safe. He knows everything about me – there is nothing hidden – I can communicate openly with him. I am able to share my hopes and dreams, fears and frustrations, thoughts and ideas, as well as concerns and irritations, without having to be careful or guard what I say. He is my safe place. In him there is no judgement or condemnation.
Even when I share things with him that he doesn’t quite ‘get’ – I still know that I am loved, supported and held. There is incredible freedom in being understood and accepted on this level. He just ‘gets’ me – even when he doesn’t always agree with or even relate to what I am saying, he still honours and supports me. I feel like he knows me inside out and back to front and yet is still mesmerised and intrigued by the mystery and magic that makes me the multi-faceted being that I am.
Because our lives are so interwoven and we have a ‘history’ together – shared experiences, been through highs and lows, know each other as friends, companions, soul mates, lovers etc. – there is a level of commitment between us that has woven layer upon layer of deep understanding and ‘knowing’ into what we share. Our history of shared experience combined with the understanding that we are fully present and committed to each other adds a level of vulnerability, openness and transparency to our relationship that expands and grows as we share more and more of our lives together.
We are committed to growing together rather than growing apart. Even though we pursue our own interests, we have many interests and activities that we enjoy doing together.
We hold each other in the highest regard and treat each other with respect, even when we have our differences and annoy or irritate each other.
We communicate, we share from our hearts, we work together until we resolve any issues that need to be sorted out and dealt with.
We have fun together. We laugh – a lot!
We value each other’s opinions and are interested in each other’s lives outside of the one we share together. I can honestly say that after 14 years of being together our love and commitment continues to grow stronger and deeper.
The intimacy and pleasure of connecting with each other on all levels – body, soul and spirit during love making often takes on a spiritual dimension that connects us with Divine Source. Making love to the one person who in some ways knows me better than I know myself and who loves me – heart, mind and soul – transcends anything that I have ever experienced before. There is something incredibly primal and intoxicating knowing that my partner absolutely ‘worships’ and adores the most sacred and intimate parts of me.
Opening up my body to wave after wave of pleasure and release at the skilled hands, mouth and body of my lover takes the tantric experience to new heights because I am able to open up my heart and soul at the same time. Knowing that his body, soul and spirit is open to mine and joined together in unity is beyond human understanding – the love making takes on a spiritual level that is hard to put into words – it is something that can only be experienced.
Lastly, I want to add, that when Andre and I met, I hadn’t ever heard the expression ‘twin flame’. It is a relatively ‘new’ term and can put a lot of pressure on people to try and meet their one true love. I didn’t connect with Andre with the idea that I was connecting with my soul mate or twin flame. As we got to know each other, so we started to realise what we had. It is only recently that I have found words to add context to our experience.
My belief is that as more and more people awaken to the Sacred Feminine within themselves (and each other) and get rid of the old patriarchal mind-set, they will start connecting with other ‘awakened beings’ on the same journey. As we begin to integrate the Divine Masculine and Sacred Feminine aspects of ourselves and begin to transcend duality and work toward unity, so we will find like-minded ‘enlightened’ souls that we will connect with on much deeper levels than ever before. I believe that many people will start connecting (and already have connected) with their soul mates and more and more twin souls/flames will ‘find’ each other.
My advice to you is this, if you are in a relationship with someone already, work on growing together on all three levels – body, soul and spirit – the more intimately you connect on these levels, the more connected you will feel. Life is too short to be with the ‘wrong’ person though, so if you are in a relationship that you have out grown – it may be time to say good bye and move on. Do so with the utmost love and respect; because Karma has a way of coming back to teach us lessons that we may still need to learn.
Yours in love